please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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