Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
