I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
