You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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