between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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