is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
