Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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