I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
