it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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