Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
