where does the pee come out of this thing
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
