you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
