my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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