Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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