He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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