Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
