Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Found the puke drawer
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
