Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm gonna fight the coyote
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
