Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
