1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
