Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
