She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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