And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
