1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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