you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
someone owes me an orgasm
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
