I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
