He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
is wine microwaveable?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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