we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
