i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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