I got chris browned last night
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
