It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize