I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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