K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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