shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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