Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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