ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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