Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
