I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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