her vagine was all disorganized.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
