so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
