you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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