Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
