DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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