my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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