He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
