make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
