what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
