I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
