think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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