Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
